The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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