I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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