Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
