She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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