For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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