I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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