I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
