I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
