Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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