Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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