It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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