She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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