He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
