I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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