why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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