What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
