dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
