just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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