All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
