Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
