dude i'm inner monologue high
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
