Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
