It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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