He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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