So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
