went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
