party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
