We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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