girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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