you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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