i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
