He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
