Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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