I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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