You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
