Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
