Your tits are I can't wait for
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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