I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
