You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
no you cant smoke seaweed
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
