i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
