Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
