Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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