cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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