We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
