I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
