I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Randomize
