Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
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I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
