And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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