Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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