i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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