Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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