Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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