Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
